Ahegao Fuck Yourself

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You might think you don’t know what Ahegao is, but unless you’re Amish and this is your first time using the internet – in which case, RUN. GO BACK TO YOUR SIMPLE LIFE OF BUTTER AND WOODWORK! – or if you a child in the most literal sense, then you’ve seen this face before. If not directly from a dojinshi comic, then from a woman in real life. If you’re lucky, she made this face because of you and not from the dude in the video you were watching. But enough about me and my career in film.

Ahegao is just one of those fun, popularized Japanese words like tsundere or senpai that describe a thing that we in the States don’t really have a dedicated word for. Odd, really, when you consider the import we place on sex in our culture – even though we are weirdly, even paradoxically prudish about it at the same time. But as you’ve likely come to expect of the nitpickers and hair-splitters in the salt-marshes of the Twitter-sphere, this transgression of humorous cultural exchange simply cannot fly.

In classic social justice fashion, Ahegao has been decreed as some manner bigotry toward POCs – namely the Japanese, I’d presume. The Japanese, I think it’s worth noting, being a people that would take being lumped in with literally every ethnic persuasion with the sole exception of those of European ancestry with immense abhorrence. The Japanese, much to my elation, are, by in large, unphased and uncaring to the insisted-upon plight of POCs. A term that only exists because everyone exposing it is big into the “White Man’s Burden” realm of thought. One that I find particularly antiquated and cancerous.

I hate to break it the broken soles on twitter and reddit – reddit having also recently banned the use of the word “trap” as a homophobic slur for some reason – but the Japanese happen to be a very ethno-centralized bunch. Japan itself is essentially an ethno-state – in fact, I can’t think of a nation in Asia that isn’t. Hell, Japan even made a reality TV show about rounding up foreign refugees and deporting them. Muslims, by law, aren’t even allowed to come into the country. Which is a much more merciful approach than the one that their neighbor and age-old nemesis China takes.

Not to mention that all the far-east flavors don’t want much to do with each other either; if you can’t get neighbors to sit down and burry millennia-old animosities how can you realistically expect them to accept outsiders from further outside? Have you seen depictions of Africans in even modern anime? Have you seen the self-reported numbers of Africans in China’s prison population? And don’t even get me started on the rooftop Koreans. Weird then how the lobotomites online crawl through broken glass to defend the Japanese on this – I guess nobody told them Japan’s alignment in WW2. But let’s rap up this rant.

No, a woman making reflexive facial contortions as a result of sexual satisfaction is not a racially tinged slight at the Japanese or anyone else. You would have to be as easy to program as a T1-82 to believe that. But, of course, these people are. And I take climactic pleasure in their suffering.

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