The Legend of Rittenhouse

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Pretext: Some cockwad named Jacob Blake – a convicted rapist and domestic abuser with an active warrant (which must still technically be active) – got shot a bunch for attacking cops and then going to get something out of his car. Is that part of the “talk” I’ve heard some much about when you’re raising kids in bad neighborhoods? Anyway, he didn’t die (somehow) but that didn’t stop BLM from martyring him – they really know how to pick their heroes, don’t they? At least a vegetable can’t rape as easily. I saw the video and even from a less than optimal angle, I’d say it was absolutely a justified shooting unless cops are supposed to let agitated, aggressive perps reach for shit in their car or speed off with kids in the back seat.

So, naturally, the only rational response to the cherished village rapist getting fucked up was to ritualistically and, at this point, very fucking predictably, slash and burn. Undoubtably drawing sympathy for the cause from surrounding businesses and residence, I’m sure. But I’m not wasting more oxygen on that bullshit. The real story here is based-zoomer Kyle Rittenhouse.

Kyle, age 17 (yet more man than most), works in Kenosha as a lifeguard and was asked by a business owner he knew to guard his property on Tuesday night because you know the police were likely to do fuck all about the rioters – if not out of mayoral malice than not doubt due to strained resources. Armed with his AR and a med kit to render and direct aid as needed, Kyle did, in fact, have to use force that night. After firing on one rioter – one Joseph Rosenbaum: a convicted pedophile – Kyle was forced to flee and was pursued by the mob.

Shortly after, he was then forced to shoot and kill Anthony Huber – who had multiple charges of battery and domestic abuse – who tried to knock out Kyle with a skateboard, and, in quick session, Gaige Grosskreutz who tried to shoot Kyle with a pistol and had a history of gun related issues himself. Gaige was disarmed in the most literal sense, but survived. It is also worth noting that Kyle did not fire first and was himself being fired upon throughout this attack. He promptly surrendered himself to authorities thereafter.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

This kid is a damn legend. He held his own against a mob of chronic criminals and picked them off his startling accuracy. Clearly, he had a lot of practice under his belt. And while Mr. Rittenhouse is being charged with multiple erroneous felonies that were cooked up before the evidence was gone over in any great detail AND any support of him is being scrubbed from mainline social media platforms, his extradition is, as you heard, being delayed and the man himself, Lin Wood, has offered to take his case. I think Kyle is in good hands. If the meme magic I’ve seeing going around praising his efforts and courage are any gauge as to his future I’d say it’s rather bright. Oh, how I’d love for him to speak Trump’s inauguration. The salt would be transcendent.

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