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Well, now I REALLY need to review the new Animaniacs coming out on Hulu next month…

This may not be the clinical definition of insanity, though I’m sure you’ve heard it: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. How many times do these whipped idiots in the entertainment engine have to splice the woke gene into their otherwise passable projects and watch them twist and mutate into horrible, undulating, unwatchable abominations? Are they not aware of how much money they are losing? Do they not care about their reputations as producers of content? If I had been in charge of that godawful Ghost Busters remake – and it’s a shame I wasn’t – that film would have never made it to the big screen as it was. One look at the script or reading off the cast list would have landed that project in a fire.

What’s particularly curious about this choice in diversity hire, is that I’m pretty sure that this Patrisse character has no background in entertainment – though maybe she spat some shitty slam poetry at a café in college or something, I don’t know. And bringing on a self-proclaimed communist – someone who thinks every lol and kek out of your mouth should be state-sanctioned – from an organization that is even less popular now than it was before Fentanyl Floyd REALLY couldn’t breath just feels…stupid. It’s almost like their in such a rush to do these things that they’re skipping steps and not even bothering to cover their tracks.

But in the same way that I proclaimed my state of non-worry with the currently rotting gun control issue, allow me to put your freighted minds at ease with a very famous case. The case of Cartoon Network’s Steven Universe. A tale that is paradoxically both disheartening and relieving.

Steven Universe was a cartoon that was, in its first season, actually quite good, I think. It set up a fascinating story world and incorporated elements from other famed action shows from prior decades. It had colossal potential – until it didn’t.

Yes, given that Steven himself was a…less than masculine child and was more or less being parented by three alien women…well, you can deduce that it became fertile ground for woke weeds. The show became a signal fire for every intersectional compartment under the sun, namely the Queer one (much more efficient than LGBTQ+, don’t you think?). But that wasn’t even where things began to spiral out of control. The show began to not so subtly address transsexualism, illegal migrants, same sex parenting, rape, toxic masculinity, offensive speech, and many other such cudgels that so many people watch cartoons to get AWAY from for an hour or twelve. I can attest to it, I’ve seen about half of the episodes.

And while this may sound like Ragnarök to the unironically black-pilled of society, consider the fact that the Steven Universe fandom is widely considered to be the worst, most cancerous fandom of them all time. Maybe it’s just the kind of people the show attracts, but most of them are nasty little sweat goblins that will dogpile you (and many of their own) for scrutinizing the show in any way, shape, or form. There is a fandom dedicated to hating their fandom, for fuck’s sake.

Wokeness and other doctrines of conformity and compliance do not work in entertainment because they are not funny. For something to be funny, it has to –

1. Have some kernel of truth to it.
2. Come at someone else’s expense.

And while this kind of content may not take issue with belittling someone like me, that’s about all they ever have, and jokes tend to dry out after a while. More offensive, unrestrained, and politically incorrect avenues of entertainment always win the popularity contest. Saying “please laugh” doesn’t work. It never has. Laugher is involuntary, uncontrollable – and that’s why they can’t tolerate it.

So go ahead, Warner Brothers. Enrich your staff with this stunning and brave soldier of “the struggle”. I think you’ll be shocked to see your projects get ratioed – but of course that’s only because you seem incapable of learning. You’re well on your way to becoming the very thing you seem to be seeking to destroy.

A joke.

Watch STNC Episode 38