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Bruce Uebergang

2023-02-26 02:12:26 -

Emmanuel Macron, The French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

"Hallo, Mr. Macron!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare , Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Macron replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Macron paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Macron, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Macron asks.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Macron sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Macron, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!"

Macron was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.
Macron! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."

"Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Macron. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and we decided there is no fookin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.

Emmanuel Macron, The French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings. "Hallo, Mr. Macron!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare , Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!" "Well, Paddy," Macron replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!" Macron paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Macron, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Macron asks. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor." Macron sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke." "Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you." Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Macron, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!" Macron was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!" "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back." Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Macron! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war." "Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Macron. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and we decided there is no fookin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.

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Zara Javed added a photo
2022-07-25 10:19:11 -

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Alexander Rogge

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2022-03-17 16:51:22 -

History.com Editors - 7 Surprising Facts About St. Patrick's Day:

https://www.history.com/news/st-patricks-day-facts

#StPatricksDay #SaintPatricksDay #SaintPatrick #Ireland #Irish #Shamrock #Leprechaun #Christianity

History.com Editors - 7 Surprising Facts About St. Patrick's Day: https://www.history.com/news/st-patricks-day-facts #StPatricksDay #SaintPatricksDay #SaintPatrick #Ireland #Irish #Shamrock #Leprechaun #Christianity

WWW.HISTORY.COM

7 Surprising Facts About St. Patrick's Day
Who was the real St. Patrick? Was that legend about the snakes true? And why did so many St. Patrick's Day traditions start in America?

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John Loehne

2021-04-19 11:52:33 -

THE REAL SAINT PATRICK
Bible Study / Daily Devotional
Daily Devotions
Average reading time is about 6 minutes
AN AMAZING FACT: Typically on March 17, people all over the world join the Irish to celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day. Cities like New York and Boston have large parades baptized in shamrocks, leprechauns, and the color green. Chicago will even dye its river green. Sadly there is far more myth than fact taught about this great man of God called Saint Patrick.

For starters, this patron saint of Ireland was not even Irish, but English. St. Patrick, whose real name was Maewyn Succat, was born in Roman Britain, around A.D. 389. He was captured by raiders when he was about 16 and conveyed to Ireland, where he was sold as a slave to care for pigs and sheep. While in captivity, like the prodigal son, he surrendered his heart to Christ. After six years he escaped slavery and returned back to his homeland. But a few years later he distinctly heard God call him to return to Ireland as a missionary to convert his former captors to Christianity. After he became a minister he took on the name Patrick, or Patricus, which means father of the people.

A popular legend has it that St. Patrick drove all the snakes from Ireland. It’s true that, aside from zoos and pets, there are no snakes on the Emerald Isle. That’s because there never were any snakes in Ireland. This has more to do with the island’s 700-foot chalky cliffs on Ireland’s west coast more than any miracles performed by St. Patrick. This tale may have arisen as a metaphor of his single-handed effort to drive the idol-worshiping Druid cult out of Ireland.

Saint Patrick was not technically a saint because the Catholic Church never canonized him. Even though they built hundreds of churches that bear his name, Patrick was not even a Roman Catholic. He operated as an independent Christian and self-supporting missionary. March 17th is not even St. Patrick’s birthday but rather the day the old missionary died in his beloved Ireland. He had set free the land which once enslaved him.

It’s amazing how many fables have become connected with the work of this great missionary. But this is not the first time this has happened. The apostle Paul was accused repeatedly of things that were distortions of his true work. While in Corinth, Luke writes, “When Gallio was proconsul of Achaia, the Jews with one accord rose up against Paul and brought him to the judgment seat, saying, ‘This fellow persuades men to worship God contrary to the law’” (Acts 18:12, 13). God’s people will continue to be misunderstood until Jesus comes.
KEY BIBLE TEXTS
Saying, This fellow persuadeth men to worship God contrary to the law. Acts 18:13

THE REAL SAINT PATRICK Bible Study / Daily Devotional Daily Devotions Average reading time is about 6 minutes AN AMAZING FACT: Typically on March 17, people all over the world join the Irish to celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day. Cities like New York and Boston have large parades baptized in shamrocks, leprechauns, and the color green. Chicago will even dye its river green. Sadly there is far more myth than fact taught about this great man of God called Saint Patrick. For starters, this patron saint of Ireland was not even Irish, but English. St. Patrick, whose real name was Maewyn Succat, was born in Roman Britain, around A.D. 389. He was captured by raiders when he was about 16 and conveyed to Ireland, where he was sold as a slave to care for pigs and sheep. While in captivity, like the prodigal son, he surrendered his heart to Christ. After six years he escaped slavery and returned back to his homeland. But a few years later he distinctly heard God call him to return to Ireland as a missionary to convert his former captors to Christianity. After he became a minister he took on the name Patrick, or Patricus, which means father of the people. A popular legend has it that St. Patrick drove all the snakes from Ireland. It’s true that, aside from zoos and pets, there are no snakes on the Emerald Isle. That’s because there never were any snakes in Ireland. This has more to do with the island’s 700-foot chalky cliffs on Ireland’s west coast more than any miracles performed by St. Patrick. This tale may have arisen as a metaphor of his single-handed effort to drive the idol-worshiping Druid cult out of Ireland. Saint Patrick was not technically a saint because the Catholic Church never canonized him. Even though they built hundreds of churches that bear his name, Patrick was not even a Roman Catholic. He operated as an independent Christian and self-supporting missionary. March 17th is not even St. Patrick’s birthday but rather the day the old missionary died in his beloved Ireland. He had set free the land which once enslaved him. It’s amazing how many fables have become connected with the work of this great missionary. But this is not the first time this has happened. The apostle Paul was accused repeatedly of things that were distortions of his true work. While in Corinth, Luke writes, “When Gallio was proconsul of Achaia, the Jews with one accord rose up against Paul and brought him to the judgment seat, saying, ‘This fellow persuades men to worship God contrary to the law’” (Acts 18:12, 13). God’s people will continue to be misunderstood until Jesus comes. KEY BIBLE TEXTS Saying, This fellow persuadeth men to worship God contrary to the law. Acts 18:13

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